Getting Up and Moving On

Tuesday, April 25, 2017


A little warning here. This isn't a product review or any thing related to beauty. Inner beauty maybe, but that is a pretty far stretch. If you aren't interested, there are tons of reviews and tutorials you can click to! But I thought, this is my blog, and this is my outlet. The past two weeks or so was tough. It opened my eyes to many aspects of life. And I am learning how to deal with it. And I thought I would share a little with you.

Not planning to sound like a child, but I honestly did not expect adulthood to be this tough. The past week was a rollercoaster of emotions and I started to realise all the difficult aspects of life and of growing up. Seeing other people experience it or reading about it wasn't enough to prep me for it; It was something that I had to go through and learn from.

It isn't easy. Life isn't easy, and I guess that's the thing - we have to learn and we have to grow. A state of comfort and stagnation will not get us through, it can't. And I realised that the more I tried to hang on to that comfort zone and the past, it only made things worse. But now, as I am writing this, I can safely say that I can feel myself healing and getting more comfortable with the discomfort. No one really taught me how, and it's really a hands-on occupation of sorts that everyone has to deal with. I thought I would just share with you what helped me get through, and hopefully, there is some wisdom here that will help you.

It is alright to cry.

I've never been one in touch with my emotions. Not much ever since I was in junior college, where I had quite a few experiences that led me to suppress my feelings. Ever since then, I decided that I am going to be strong, and strong women do not cry (easily). This led to anger being my main emotion and subconsciously, I suppressed everything else. I even became embarrassed to cry.

The past two weeks was a whole new experience for my tear ducts. It was activated all the time. First was for physical pain, pain that led me to a hospital and made me contemplate many things about life as I sat lifelessly on a wheelchair with an IV inserted into the back of my hand. And then it was for emotional pain. Heartbreak, no matter how small, is never easy and it was even more difficult for me to wrap my head around it as like I said, strong women don't cry and let alone for a man. All of me tried to suppress the hurt and the next thing I knew, it came out uncontrollably at an unexpected time.

I then realised that it's ok to cry. And that took me a good 2 days of crying before learning that. There is no need for a strong facade, be it for yourself or for anyone else. We are all human, and emotions are innate and I learnt that strength doesn't mean not crying and being indifferent. Sometimes, strength emanates when you learnt to embrace the emotions completely, feel it engulfing your body, and finally, moving on. Everyone gets hurt. The humane response is to cry. That's how the body and mind gets better and honestly, I feel kinda stupid for rejecting my emotions in the first place. It only impeded my recovery.


You are not alone.

One day, I was sulking in my room and feeling overwhelmed with life. The struggle of growing up and being an adult was crippling me in a sense, and I was being slightly childish thinking that I can somehow avoid it and staying in my room. I was looking out of the window, and I saw life just going by. Then I realised : my problem seemed to be so gigantic, so overwhelming, so dramatic. And there it was, dramatic. I was being dramatic. Everyone experiences life. Everyone grows up (some mentally, some not, but this isn't the post to be sarcastic here so I'll move on). Everyone moves on. Who am I to think that my problem was something worse? It isn't. In fact, it isn't even that bad. My mind just went down a whirlpool and dramatised the whole situation. But the truth is, I am not alone in this. Everyone grows up. Sure, the transition to adulting and different stages in life will be different for every individual, but we will all handle it in our own ways. There aren't many problems exclusive to me or you and I guess when I realised that, I found an inner peace where I learn that it will be ok eventually.

Life isn't easy.

When we were younger, things like death and heartbreak rarely pass through our heads. I am really lucky for these issues to hit me later in life, and I am extremely grateful for that. At work, I see my kids laughing and running and just being free, with no worries, and that makes me really happy. Life was just way easier back then. But honestly, life really isn't a bed of roses. Harsh, but it's true. In fact, it is more of the expectation of it being easy that creates the many issues of life. A problem is when something is misaligned with our expectations. If we constantly expect life to be smooth flowing, with no bumps in the road, we will be disappointed. I'm not saying that life is a constant battlefield, and I am so sorry if you feel that way sometimes. But it is a fact that we will all have our own battles in life to face. We just need to choose which to fight, and which to let go.

But there is so much to be grateful for.

Despite my mood the past weeks, it always made me feel better when I actually tell my brain to stop whipping itself with the pain and just appreciate what I have. There is so so so much to be grateful for  - my family, my friends, my house, my ability to think, see, hear, feel and live. And that barely even scratches the surface. Sometimes we take things for granted and we are always on the hunt for more. The world is constantly telling us that more is always better, but really, think about what you have instead of what you want.

Everything in life is a lesson or a blessing.

It is inevitable that the brain goes into depression mode sometimes, questioning everything with a pessimistic worldview. That's part of being human sometimes. This phrase, or mantra if you will, really did help me get through. I'm not a strong believer in fate or destiny, but I do know everything does happen for a reason. The reason, is up to you to decide.

I felt terrible as all the seemingly difficult situations were happening in a short span of two weeks and I didn't know how to deal with it. I didn't know what to do. In fact, there were times I questioned that whole notion of life (not suicidal, don't worry) and the whole purpose of it. I've read many books on how to improve it, how to get what you want, how to live life with purpose and many other how-tos. This proves that life is a journey that will have its ups and downs, the high and the low. It will make you stronger or weaker by default, and that is really your choice. How you deal with a situation, how you think about it and how you act (not react) on it determines if you grow or if you spiral further downwards. I learnt that all these incidents can teach me something and I decided to learn from it and be stronger, rather than be assaulted by all the negative emotions and pain.

I learnt that I have amazing friends who will support me. I learnt that it is alright to show my emotions and be human, because there is no point in impressing people who don't care or don't know me. I learnt that I am strong, just not the idea I've had previously of a indifferent, apathetic person who just goes through life with a metaphorical shield and armour. I learnt that anger is always a prominent emotion when times get difficult, but grace, kindness and love is something that many people are unable to muster. Being kind and being graceful is way more difficult than being angry and I am really proud of myself for learning that. Lastly, I also learnt to be grateful for all that I have, and that I am really lucky to be alive.

I didn't mean to write such a sappy and dramatic post. But an outlet is always good to have. And if any line here helped you a little, that is great. If it didn't, it's ok, I apologise if you had wasted your time. I am just a human being, and these are just my own opinions.

Since there is truly no point in dwelling in the past, might as well enjoy the present and be excited for the future. Life is going to keep coming at you anyway.

Till then,






You Might Also Like

0 comments

Share with me your thoughts :

-

-